Lembke, Robert

Disarmament is like a party. Everyone wants to be last

Despite all the statistics, the most dangerous kitchen utensil is the corkscrew

Glasses: Curiosity triumphs over vanity

Christians are only allowed to marry one woman. This is called monotony

Television is a device that brings into our homes films that we didn't go to the cinema to see

The IRS has turned more men into liars than marriage

The fastest way to get money to the devil is to meet an angel

The main problem for an atheist starts when he's lying in a coffin, well dressed, and he doesn't know where to go

Just because parrots can talk doesn't make them human-like. You have to learn to lie first

The difference between radio and television: radio catches the ear, television catches the eye

The biggest danger on the road are cars that drive faster than their driver can think

Hell is a place where the English cook, the Italians direct traffic and the Germans make TV entertainment programs

Kisses transmit viruses that reduce resistance

Honesty is the best. Who has so much time

A consolation for sinners: There is no television in heaven. In Hell I'm Not So Sure

One of the main disadvantages of some books is that the distance between the front cover and the back cover is too large

There are high positions that are most easily reached in a stoop

There are psychologists who work in a short white jacket - behind a bar

Drive like the devil and you'll meet him soon

The half-educated are people who don't understand anything about more and more things